I was taking my time reading the book called (in Danish) What do you really want? written by Sofia Manning & Mie Kaas, 2 Danish lifestyle coaches.
There is a lot of excellent advice in the book (which I’m almost done reading) that you can use if you feel “stuck” or that you need to make a change.
I’m not reading this book for any of those reasons. I simply bought it because the title made me feel curious…and because I think it’s healthy to do a “checkup” every now and then just to make sure you’re doing all right. You know, like getting an annual physical at the doctor’s or going to the dentist.
This book is about how simple yet strange life in reality is and how important it is to figure out that you want because…
You only have one life. So why shouldn’t you live a life that you really want? We don’t even know how many people we’ve met, especially through our work, that are not doing what they want to be doing. They’re flat, disillusioned, overwhelmed and stressed not just in our eyes, but in their own words. People who don’t enjoy their work life or their life in general and have forgotten what they’re good at and what they think is fun or exciting.
If you don’t know what you want in life you may feel like you’re lost. It’s sad to feel like this but it’s the reality for many. But why? (Page 52)
I guess, I’m pretty lucky to live a life that I really like. But I also know what it’s like to live a life that I really don’t like, to feel “lost” and to not know what you want.
In my early 20s, I had a brief period where I’d just started university, thinking that I was on the right path and that I knew exactly what I wanted for my future. Turned out, I was wrong and that everything that I’d thought I wanted for the past 3-4 years…well, it wasn’t exactly right for me after all.
At that time I wanted to be a journalist. It was my biggest dream. Just before I turned 18, I went to take the admissions test at the only school of journalism in Denmark (at the time). When I didn’t get in, I decided to go to university instead. So, I began studying Social Sciences at Roskilde University Center (RUC) and more or less had a complete meltdown before the 1st semester was done, because it became very clear to me that it was not at all where I wanted to be or the direction I wanted to go in.
So, I hit a bottom of sorts. It felt like my entire foundation had been ripped away from beneath me and all that I was left with what the thought of what now?
It took some time, but I eventually figured out what I wanted to study by focusing on what my favorite subjects had been until that point (English and literature) and what I felt I was good at (writing). I narrowed my focus to be very short-term and as soon as I started doing what I loved and following that path, everything else fell into place as time went by and with each piece of the puzzle, I was able to gain more clarity.
My puzzle is not yet done. I’m still learning, but I have a focus that feels right for me.
Some things to consider in order to figure out what you really want could be:
- What makes you happy? Write down e.g. 10-20 things that bring you joy.
- What are your dreams? Your big, bold and beautiful dreams? What would it take to make them come true?
- What would you do if you knew you only had 5 years left to live? Write down 3 things. What’s stopping you from doing them right now?
- What do want to make of your life? What should they write in your obituary or on your tombstone?
- How do you want to make a difference in this world and/or in the lives of others?
- Where do you want to live?
- What do you want to experience?
- Who do want to be?
- Can you change your habits to become the person you want to be or to make your dreams come true?
- What or who is stopping you from living the life of your dreams?
- What or who could help you to live the life of your dreams?
There are probably a bunch of other question you could ask yourself and they may not be easy to answer. It depends on you.
What do YOU want to do with this one life you’ve got?